04 Feb I wish I knew the importance of loving myself
This February, in recognition of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we launched the I Wish I Had Known awareness and prevention campaign. We invited adults to reflect on what they wish they had learned about relationships when they were younger and how that knowledge might have altered their lives.
The poem submitted by “Healthy Communicator” beautifully underscores how essential it is for teens to know themselves, their values, their needs, and their boundaries, before they begin dating. Popular media often tells us that love should be all-consuming or self-sacrificing, but we know a different truth. Healthy dating relationships are built on mutual respect, clear boundaries, kindness, and equity. In healthy relationships, both partners support one another’s growth, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
At Take Back the Halls, we empower students to define for themselves what they want and deserve in a dating relationship. We guide them in identifying their boundaries and practicing how to communicate them with confidence and care. Just as importantly, we help young people recognize the signs of both healthy and unhealthy relationships so they can make informed, empowered choices now and in the future.
I wish I had known the importance of loving myself
Submitted by “Healthy Communicator”
i wish they told me how to…
i wish they told me how to hold my own heart gently,
before i handed it off like loose change in someone else’s pocket.
how to love myself loudly enough that i wouldn’t go quiet
the moment another person walked into the room.
i wish they told me that teenage love can feel like weather—
all thunder, no forecast—
and that you shouldn’t build a whole home
in a place you’re still learning to map.
back then, i kept pouring and pouring,
believing the hollowness inside me
was just the shape love carved out
when it settled in.
no one warned me that when they left,
i’d stand in the doorway of my own life
and feel like the tenant and the stranger
in the same breath.
that relearning my name would feel
like picking up a seashell on a shoreline
I didn’t recognize—
its curves still damp
from the tide of everything I’d surrendered,
its echo faint but familiar,
a reminder of who I used to be
before I diluted myself to stay.
i wish they told me love isn’t supposed to cost you yourself.
that the softest kind of loyalty
is the kind you offer inward first.
that you can’t bloom in someone else’s sunlight
if you never learn how to grow in your own.
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