10 Feb I Wish I Had Known: Domestic Violence
This February, in recognition of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we launched the I Wish I Had Known awareness and prevention campaign. We invited adults to reflect on what they wish they had learned about relationships when they were younger and how that knowledge might have altered their lives.
Marilyn’s powerful reflections remind us how the warning signs of abuse can be missed when people lack the information and resources to recognize them. Her experience also sheds light on the ways religion or faith can be misused to perpetuate abuse, both by individuals who cause harm and by faith communities that may excuse or condone that behavior. At the same time, faith can be a vital part of the healing journey for survivors, and faith communities have a critical role to play in ending domestic violence by supporting survivors, holding those who abuse accountable, and creating spaces of safety and care.
The City of Chicago has a community campaign to engage faith communities in the movement to end domestic violence including information and resources.
At Take Back the Halls, we equip young people with the tools to understand their own boundaries and recognize the warning signs of control and abuse. Through honest, age appropriate conversations, we help youth distinguish between what’s healthy and what’s harmful and identify early signs of unhealthy relationships before they escalate.
Domestic Violence: I wish I had known
Submitted by Marilyn Kellum
I wish I had known that the unlimited calls early in the morning and late at night after repeatedly trying to end the call with him would be a symptom of a greater problem in the future.
I wish I had known that his insistence on keeping me away from getting to know new friends (as I was in a new state), was his attempt to keep me isolated from others forever.
I wish I had known that controlling men often become physically abusive.
I wish I had known that abusive men are often repeat offenders. Had I known this, I would not have invested any energy or thoughts into reconciliation.
I wish I had known that every person in a committed relationship should keep money that is unknown to their partners for their own safety and security.
I wish I had known that no matter how well people speak of a person, they can still harbor secretive abusive behaviors.
I wish I had known that there was a such thing as religious abuse where people will hide behind the Bible to support abusive behaviors in people – especially men.
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